It hurts. My gigi! Half of my mouth feel numb. Damn.

I haven't been to the dentist in years. Because I never really had any problem with it before. Until now. Haiyo! I knew I should've gone for a check up atleast once in a year. Or every 6 months.

Now I have a huge lubang. After the dentist checked, she gave me an injection. Boy, it's huge that damn thing was! My eyes wliterally went big when I first saw it. Well as big as it can get considering my eyes is sepet. Huhuhu :P Since I was little I am always afraid of needles. I loathe that thing.

I felt dizzy when she drilled my whole mouth. Rasa macam nak pengsan. My ear also sakit. I have an appointment next week exactly one week from now. The dentist will permanently tampal my gigi. Now it's only temporary and she said to only makan sebelah mulut saja. Cis!

This past few days I'm feeling so many emotions at once. I am annoyed, frustrated, mad as hell, angry and most of all I am hurt.

I dislike her immensely.

I've been avoiding her calls since friday and she has called countless times and I refused to answer it. I'm afraid I will blow up on her because I've been bottled it up for quite some time now.

When Mama collapsed after the meeting with her boss and colleagues I was so worried. She couldn't walk so she asked me to fetch her.

Since I have to drive home her car I had asked for my supposedly bestfriend for help. And you know what she fuckin' said? It went along like this 'Aku rasa tak boleh la sebab nak gi makan and beli lampu dengan bapak aku'. She didn't even say sorry. I would understand if she has a really important reason.

I rarely ask for help(as in major help) and the one time that I actually (desperate really) ask for it she basically said no. I know some people will say 'ala tak teruk sangat pun' or 'relax la' but really ..to me it was major. She just collapsed and it is not the first time and she can barely walk.

I really love my Mom and of course I wanted to help her in any way I can although sometimes I can be a bitch and a little harsh. But I meant no harm. Nasib baik la kawan dia tak balik lagi and she lives nearby our house.





Ugh, I'm so hurt. I helped her a lot you know and I did not ask for anything in return.

I'm smart enough to recognize the signs of depression in myself. The bitterness and hidden anger. I just didn’t know what to do about it than go about life as though nothing had changed. I need to vent my anger. I need to talk to someone. But I don't trust anyone right now. And if I do, they'll just judged me and say I'm just being mengada-ngada or naggy. Bleurghhh..

I said something bad today. Accidentally. I swear I didn't mean to. I mean I meant what I said because it was a fact but I don't mean to say it infront of their faces. It's insulting. Oh God. I feel terribly guilty right now.

Word of advice: Think before you act.

In my case, think before you talk.

Anyway, I went to buy groceries today with my maid and my sister. Mama couldn't be walk and Ayah still in pain so I have to be the chief of the house la kejap. Before that I went to fetch Mama's car kat RHB. Jammed gila. Haiyo!

Now I know who my true friends are.

My dad got admitted to the hospital today at SJMC. So I've been spending half my time there with him and my family. Mama dapat MC today so dia teman him the whole day. Tomorrow it's my turn since Mama had to work.

I woke up early today. I have to send my Dad to Sunway Medical Centre. He's been having this pain from starting from the thigh to the leg. We arrived there around 8.45am and the doctor came around 9.30am. He was the first to see him. After that he had to do a blood test and X-ray.

Since it's going to take awhile, my sister and I went home. Haha NOT! We went breakfast with Kak Nina and Mami. Then only we went home. Hung around til 12.30pm then pick up my Dad.

I'm a little bit tired today. Constantly went in and out of the house and I even sent my Dad to the clinic tonight. AGAIN. He's been complaining and moaning and it looks bad. Like it's really painful. The medicine the doctor gave doesn't work at all. So this time the doctor gave a stronger one. Hope it works. Kesian pulak tengok dia sakit.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now. Sleepy. Toodles.

First Time

Hello! This is my first time using this blog. Before this I used Livejournal.

..

Hmm don't know what to talk about. Maybe later.