I'm feeling very crappy. And exhausted too. I had a very busy stressful week.

It started last friday. We were on our way back to Alor Star. Traffic was slow moving. Some more it rained almost all the way. I was frustrated that I couldn't speed at all. And I hate hate it when people drive slow on the fast lane. How stupid can they get? Not only that I drove for 10 freakin' hours. Along the way there were a couple of accidents but wasn't that bad. Just causing the cars to slow down because Malaysian drivers semuanya kepochi.

We stopped at Auto City for lunch then continued our journey. Not even 30 minutes driving there was traffic. Ingatkan kejap aje. The accident was really bad. Involved 2 lorries and 1 motorcycle. One of the drivers tersepit. So the road was blocked and we had to wait. It turned out to be 3 and a half hours. At the time, I really needed to pee ..badly. But there was no other way where I can do my err... business. I can't just pee outside. Malulah kan nanti orang nampak. Dahlah hujan pulak tu. Ughh seksanya kena tunggu. By the time the accident cleared, everyone pecut cari tandas. Lagilah jammed. Masuk toilet pun line panjang. I was literally dancing, hopping up and down. Mama laughed like crazy. Some lady dah selamat shi shi pun. Tak sempat masuk tandas. Hehehehe.

We reached Alor Star at 7.30pm. Then an hour later we went to Red Village for dinner. Oh my, the dinner was absolutely delicious!! The place was not bad and price pun reasonable. After dinner, lepak2 with the family then went upstairs. I was the first one to fell asleep. Diaorg memekak dalam bilik pun tak sedar apa dah. Normally I'm a light sleeper.

The next day went to Sungai Petani for my friend's wedding. Rumah dia sangat cantik. Pelamin pun very cun. Congratulations Kak Pah. Semoga berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu cicit. Lately a lot of people has been asking me about marriage. I shudder at the thought of it. I'm so not ready. Tapi tak nak cakap lebih2 nanti tengok2 aku pulak kahwin dulu. Hahaha.

Every night we went out for dinner with my families. I had a jolly time spending time with them and of course eat. Second night makan kat Kuala Kedah. The third day kat Riverbank. Semua tempat best dan sedappppppp hingga menjilat jari.

We were supposed to go back to KL on Monday after Subuh. But changed of plans. Luckily I wasn't the one driving. I have a difficult time driving at night but only when it comes to long distance. On Monday, Mama called the ambulance because Maktok wasn't eating, speaking or even moving at all. Just staring at us blankly. It turns out Maktok had a stroke which causes half of her body paralyzed. Not only that, the doctor said her brain has shrunken. Sometimes she recognize people sometimes not. I'm really sad. Now she couldn't speak at all. She has to be fed through tube every three hours. She sleeps all the time. Unlike before, she susah sangat nak tidur. She only sleeps during the day and awake at night. What if she dies or something? Tak sempat nak mintak ampun dengan dia. Last night we baca Yassin ramai2. Doakan Maktok cepat sembuh.

Almost right after Maktok sakit, my Mom pulak sakit. I had to pick her up at the office. This time it has something to do with her neck and shoulder. She said it was burning and very painful.
We went immediately to SJMC. The doctor said it was neck spasm @ stiff neck.

So now starting from Maktok sakit until today people has been coming non-stop. It's very tiring. Not just physically and mentally. Esok and lusa ada wedding then people will be coming to our house to visit Maktok. Some of them are even sleeping at my house. Not that I mind or anything. Hopefully by next week it'll slow down a bit. I start my class on January. I also may have to send and picked Mama up from work. It's not advisable for her to drive now. It may caused her more pain.

I need to go to the spa and relax.

Everyone made mistakes. Some are small and unimportant, we won't even remember them when we look back, but there are also some who are big and disastrous, some would accompany us for a lifetime.

No one can say that he or she had never any mistakes without lying, for mistakes are a part of our lives. Those who are a great mistake, defines our life. They will take a place in our life and sometimes they even play a part in our character.

You have to live with the knowledge that in every moment, in every second, that a mistake will occur. And this can get very pressuring. A mistake can be everything, a wrong move, a wrong word, a wrong look. But what you have to know is, every mistake, begins with thinking and deciding.

For it's us who decides what to do, what to say, what to look at. It's all us, it's all our decision, our choice. And only ours' alone.

First of all SALAM MAAL HIJRAH. I'm in Alor Star with my family. Been driving for the past 10 hours. Very tiring. Traffic was slow moving. I couldn't even speed. Damnnnnnn. Every R&R penuh dengan kereta and ramai sangat orang. Then it was drizzling. We stopped at AutoCity, had Pizza Hut for lunch.

After that, the highway was clear and I was happy because I can speed the whole way. Unfortunately, there was an accident at Gurun. It was very bad and the police closed the road for 3 and a half hours. Ada 2 lori kontena berlaga. One of the driver tersepit in between. And then time tu la I really need to pee. Nak buat cemana have to tahan la. It was uncomfortable and boring kena tunggu. Dah la nobody nak layan me. My Mom was busy reading novel which was mine by the way and my Dad watch some DVD.

After we were finally allowed to move, I practically speed to find the first R&R I could find. Goshhh this is the most uncomfortable experience ever.

Sampai je rumah my cousin, rest for an hour then went to dinner. We ate at this awesome restaurant called Thai Red Village. So yummy. The place was great, service pun excellent. I loveeee it :))

Oklah, gotta go. Nak pi kacau my very comellll, suka katok orang, garang niece.

Oh, forgot to add. I nearly had a heart attack just now. My cousin drove like a maniac. He's wayyyy too fast and he likes to bawak kereta tu dekattttt sangat dengan kereta depan. Mama's side of the family semua suka bawak laju. Genetic perhaps???

Happy Birthday Bapak!!
May Allah bless you always. Love ya :)

Kak Nina bought food from D'Tandoor since it was his favorite. Indian food for a man who looked like chinese. Hehehe. Yummmmy food!!

Best friends forever? Pfft ..that's bullshit. Forever is a very long time. In time friendship suffers, in time all wounds heal, in time you realize that friends forever only means until someone finds something better, in time you realize that people change, that best friends can become ungrateful selfish assholes and that in time you pity them instead of hate them. Because, not having a real friend at all is worth pitying.

We shall see if the person can find someone to depend on. Someone who cares for them and won't find them only in time for need.

I hate feeling like this. The growing resentment that I felt towards that person. It was like a vine, starting off small, but its tendrils were slowly winding their way around my heart. Ugh, please help me stop this.

I practically laugh/snort when I saw this scene in New Moon. Ala-ala hindustan. LOL.

I had a jolly time playing with Amelia today. She laughs, she screams, she imitate people. She's so adorable too. You can't help but love her.

I went out with Syaza again today. Hehe asyik jumpa dia jer. We are both on holidays and our class starts next year. So we want to enjoy as much as we could. Saturday, the whole family went to KLCC. My dad went to PC Fair and us went shopping. It was nice spending time with my Mom. She's always busy and weekend sometimes tak larat nak keluar. We ran into Syaza and family again. They went to see High School Musical. Hehehe.

We had Nando's for lunch and Tony Roma's for desserts. Ughh kenyang betul. We shared the delicious dessert.

I've been out the whole day. I'm so exhausted. Kaki rasa macam nak patah. I had lunch at TGIF with Syaza. Then we walk around, she wanted to buy present for her dad. Later lepak2 with her family. After that went straight to Kak Nina's house. She took the day off. We watched Carriers, not bad although tak masuk akal. I was supposed to send her to Mami's house but changed of plans. I was invited to dinner with them. Mama couldn't come since she was still at the office. Kak Nina practically forced me and adik to go. Ugh, I was not in the mood to follow because I just got back from Pyramid and was out since 10am. I was very tired, dengan badan melekit, muka minyak. When I finally agreed I told her I wanted to go back home first. She didn't let me at first, takut I nak escape. Took her awhile to let me go. Aisya had to stay there with her as hostage. LOL she can be very funny sometimes.

We went to Mantra in Pyramid. It's an Indian restaurant. Not bad the food. I especially love the butter chicken. Very delicious! Today was also Kak Nisaa's birthday, so celebrate sekali la. She looked very pretty.

I kept laughing at Megat because he keeps rolling his eyes when it comes to her. Very amusing to watch. Then he told me stories about last night. They went to Shook. Saw all the hot celebrities and all.

One more thing, when Amelia saw me, the first thing she said was 'Pau' and then she smiled. Dimples and all. Nak marah pun tak jadi. Why can't she call me Aunty Lia or Alia pun jadi la.

I felt so out of place…

Tied to a world in which I didn’t belong;

Alone…