My grandfather just recently passed away on Saturday, 6.50am. The fact that he died so suddenly shocked me. He was fine after the operation. Old age perhaps?

I missed him so much. I didn't get the chance to ask for forgiveness. I didn't get to say 'I love you'. I promised him I would visit him but after my semester or semester break because of my class schedule. I have class even on weekends, it's hard for me to go back. The last time I saw him, he made me promised to visit him when I'm free.

When he had his operation about three weeks ago, only my family went to JB except me. I had mid-term test. The night before he died, my cousin wrote on her Facebook saying he was weak and maybe have to bring him to the hospital. I told my Dad and he said we'll visit when we have the chance. Then the next morning, he passed away. My cousin's family was there when he took his last breath. At least he wasn't alone. They said even though he was weak, he can still talk. I wish I was there with him. I remembered crying so hard in the shower, after I heard the news. I cried even more when I kissed his forehead for the last time.

Right now I officially have no grandparents. I wonder how are we going to celebrate Raya? Sure going to be boring. I really missed him. He has always been my favorite. He's caring, protective, and a good listener. Every time I visit him, I would lay beside him on the bed and just talk, talk and talk. He will always listen to my stories. Sometimes he would give advice, and he would say it in the gentlest way. He knows I have a hot temper. Hehehe :)

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye..

I love you both.

I seemed to have developed a penchant for walking into conversations I wanted to avoid.

If I were an animal, I'd be a penguin. A bird that lacks typical bird-like grace and can't even fly. They slide. And they seem to enjoy suffering. Just look at where they live. Yup ..that would be me.

I’m exhausted. I have been out since 7.45am. The minute I got home I straight away went to shower. The weather is so HOT! I feel so much better now.

I officially have no maid. But it’s only for a month. I have to clean, cook(this one tinggal goreng je. Not so bad. LOL), wash and iron clothes. Oh boy!

I’m going to KLCC tomorrow. I promise Mama I would teman her go shopping.

I’m totally pissed off with my bitch of a sister. I swear she’s acting like a lunatic. We were eating dinner when she got mad at me and she fuckin’ pours my drink at me. I was shocked. Before, I was annoyed because she kept narrowing her eyes at me and I said “Your looks won’t kill me”.

Of course I retaliate back. I tried to take her drink but she quickly take it away from me and I used Mama’s and pour right at her annoying face. I think we gave my mother a shock. We rarely get physical. I almost got up to smack her but I changed my mind.

The whole day she’s being so moody and bloody rude. I think she woke up at wrong side of the bed. Or tu memang her default mood. I’m sure she’s going to curse me to hell in her blog, I can bet. She’s just angry that Mama asked her to bring our maid to the market. She doesn’t want or like to wake up early. She asked why I didn’t bring her there since I woke up early. I didn’t even know she and our maid was supposed to go to the market.

Finally some peace and quiet. I was surrounded by kids the whole long weekend. I love spending time with them although they drive me crazy with their teasing, fighting and mood swings. But sometimes with them around, I constantly got headaches especially when my niece throw a tantrum which is practically every hour. She loves to scream her lungs out especially when she's excited or naik angin. Her favorite word is "tak mau kawan". Today, when she is in one of her moods, she slapped and scratched my face which was painful. I have to admit I am sometimes scared of her and she is two years old! The girl is damn fierce.

So last Saturday, Mama's niece drop by our house, unannounced might I add. I was taking a nap after a whole day out with the kids and she came with her family. The parents are very nice genuine people but it's their kids I have trouble with. I absolutely loathe them. Ok, I'm being a bit harsh. Maybe I should use hate or dislike? But whatever it is her kids are so fuckin' annoying. Everytime they came, always something will happen. The last time she came, she put milk inside Mama's vase. She peed on the floor instead of toilet seats. She wiped her ass with my comforter. She played with my laptop without permission and press the button on/off and her mother didn't even do anything. She put soap bubbles inside my sister's room. She messed up my room, my sister's room and my parent's room. Damn that kid. Rasa macam nak cubit!! Yang geram sangat tu mak bapak tak tegur langsung. Biar je anak tu. Bodoh betul. Not only that, she tried to put satu teko kopi on her sister's hand or body. Not really sure but whatever pun it ended up with the teko tumpah atas table and carpet. You should see the look on my cousin's face. Terbeliak mata dia. Dah start jerit and for a second there I ingat dia nak marah those kids but suddenly dia diam terus. Takut gaduh kot? Did I also mention she ate chocolate and wiped her dirty disgusting hands on Mama's dining table chair? Gosh I swear one of these days I am going to strangle her! But of course I won't do that. One, my parents forbid me. Second, salah dari segi undang-undang and agama. Hehehehe. I checked Mama's blood pressure that night. It was very high, maybe sebab stress tengok budak-budak tu kot.

Overall, I had a tiring but wonderful weekend with my family. Minus that annoying kids.