I drool just by looking at it. LOL.

Stop crying. I know it hurts but you have to be strong. Don't let it get to you. If you feel the need to cry, then cry all you want. Crying when you're hurt releases pain.

Normally when people did or say things that hurt me, I would just ignore it. I'm very good at hiding my feelings. But sometimes when it is too much I just broke down. Completely. Once I start crying, it takes me quite some time to stop. It just hurts, so badly.

I'm tired. So very tired. My feet are aching from walking so much. Then I carried Amelia since she doesn't like to sit in the stroller. She's not heavy but still lenguh nak pegang bila dah lama sangat. I bought a purse though Mama doesn't really like my choice but whatever. It's my choice and my money.

Anyway why the hell is the internet so bloody slow? It's driving me crazy!! It's either hujan lebat or internet slow. Damn.

This weekend has been awesome although very tiring. Let's just hope my Mom doesn't do this often. Pengsan wei!

Are you trying to kill my heart? Not so easily done, darling. You cannot kill what was already wounded. To kill was a mercy.

This was taken last year. It was quite recent. About two weeks ago. This was the first time I went to Pavillion. LOL. Even my niece, Amelia yang baru 1 year old pun dah pegi more than 5 times already! Hehehe. Sian Amy2 tak dapat ikut.

Dinner at Pepper Lunch. So Yummy!

With my cousin. Love you sis!

Megat, me and Aisya with fake snow all around us.

Happy New Year everyone. Someone asked me how did I spent my New Year's Eve? Well I celebrated with my family at home. To tell you the truth I slept quite early, not intentionally though. I was so tired and couldn't even open my eyes. I had a busy and stressful week. Even when Mami came to my house pun I dah dozed off a bit, while talking might I add. Hehehe.

I had a blast shopping yesterday. Spent the whole day at The Curve, IKEA and Cineleisure. We finally watched Avatar. Best bangattttt. Dah lama we all planned nak shopping and tengok wayang. Now je ada masa sikit. My grandma dah stabil now, so bolehlah keluar jalan-jalan to de-stress. But still have to constantly watched and take care of her. Sometimes she has trouble breathing because of her phlegm. Mama bought the suction for the nurse to suck it out. Lupa pulak nama machine tu. I like the new nurse. She's Filipino and can speak BM and English very well. Senang la my maid nak communicate. She can do basically everything, bathe, change tube and plus the fisio therapy.

Class starts at 11th January. Nooooo ....

I'm feeling very crappy. And exhausted too. I had a very busy stressful week.

It started last friday. We were on our way back to Alor Star. Traffic was slow moving. Some more it rained almost all the way. I was frustrated that I couldn't speed at all. And I hate hate it when people drive slow on the fast lane. How stupid can they get? Not only that I drove for 10 freakin' hours. Along the way there were a couple of accidents but wasn't that bad. Just causing the cars to slow down because Malaysian drivers semuanya kepochi.

We stopped at Auto City for lunch then continued our journey. Not even 30 minutes driving there was traffic. Ingatkan kejap aje. The accident was really bad. Involved 2 lorries and 1 motorcycle. One of the drivers tersepit. So the road was blocked and we had to wait. It turned out to be 3 and a half hours. At the time, I really needed to pee ..badly. But there was no other way where I can do my err... business. I can't just pee outside. Malulah kan nanti orang nampak. Dahlah hujan pulak tu. Ughh seksanya kena tunggu. By the time the accident cleared, everyone pecut cari tandas. Lagilah jammed. Masuk toilet pun line panjang. I was literally dancing, hopping up and down. Mama laughed like crazy. Some lady dah selamat shi shi pun. Tak sempat masuk tandas. Hehehehe.

We reached Alor Star at 7.30pm. Then an hour later we went to Red Village for dinner. Oh my, the dinner was absolutely delicious!! The place was not bad and price pun reasonable. After dinner, lepak2 with the family then went upstairs. I was the first one to fell asleep. Diaorg memekak dalam bilik pun tak sedar apa dah. Normally I'm a light sleeper.

The next day went to Sungai Petani for my friend's wedding. Rumah dia sangat cantik. Pelamin pun very cun. Congratulations Kak Pah. Semoga berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu cicit. Lately a lot of people has been asking me about marriage. I shudder at the thought of it. I'm so not ready. Tapi tak nak cakap lebih2 nanti tengok2 aku pulak kahwin dulu. Hahaha.

Every night we went out for dinner with my families. I had a jolly time spending time with them and of course eat. Second night makan kat Kuala Kedah. The third day kat Riverbank. Semua tempat best dan sedappppppp hingga menjilat jari.

We were supposed to go back to KL on Monday after Subuh. But changed of plans. Luckily I wasn't the one driving. I have a difficult time driving at night but only when it comes to long distance. On Monday, Mama called the ambulance because Maktok wasn't eating, speaking or even moving at all. Just staring at us blankly. It turns out Maktok had a stroke which causes half of her body paralyzed. Not only that, the doctor said her brain has shrunken. Sometimes she recognize people sometimes not. I'm really sad. Now she couldn't speak at all. She has to be fed through tube every three hours. She sleeps all the time. Unlike before, she susah sangat nak tidur. She only sleeps during the day and awake at night. What if she dies or something? Tak sempat nak mintak ampun dengan dia. Last night we baca Yassin ramai2. Doakan Maktok cepat sembuh.

Almost right after Maktok sakit, my Mom pulak sakit. I had to pick her up at the office. This time it has something to do with her neck and shoulder. She said it was burning and very painful.
We went immediately to SJMC. The doctor said it was neck spasm @ stiff neck.

So now starting from Maktok sakit until today people has been coming non-stop. It's very tiring. Not just physically and mentally. Esok and lusa ada wedding then people will be coming to our house to visit Maktok. Some of them are even sleeping at my house. Not that I mind or anything. Hopefully by next week it'll slow down a bit. I start my class on January. I also may have to send and picked Mama up from work. It's not advisable for her to drive now. It may caused her more pain.

I need to go to the spa and relax.

Everyone made mistakes. Some are small and unimportant, we won't even remember them when we look back, but there are also some who are big and disastrous, some would accompany us for a lifetime.

No one can say that he or she had never any mistakes without lying, for mistakes are a part of our lives. Those who are a great mistake, defines our life. They will take a place in our life and sometimes they even play a part in our character.

You have to live with the knowledge that in every moment, in every second, that a mistake will occur. And this can get very pressuring. A mistake can be everything, a wrong move, a wrong word, a wrong look. But what you have to know is, every mistake, begins with thinking and deciding.

For it's us who decides what to do, what to say, what to look at. It's all us, it's all our decision, our choice. And only ours' alone.