A song playing in the background
Every lyric reminding me of you
Memories running through my mind
So many things I wish you knew

Every time I saw you
My heart beats faster
The more I was around you
The more you stayed in my mind.

Every night I lay in bed thinking of you
Even when I’m sleeping I dreamed of you
I remember every sweet memories
Those are precious to me

If only I said yes
Who knows maybe
You would still be here
Now I will never know

I was a coward
Never want to take a chance
Afraid to get my heart broken
Now I stand here alone.

I had the most embarrassing moment in class today. We were talking about the many topics that we can select for our presentation which is in two weeks. Then my lecturer mentioned something about mooncake. She said what's the story behind it or something like that. I immediately replied to her saying I know nothing about it. She looked at me and said 'bangsa kamu sendiri pun tak tau cerita pasal mooncake'. I was stunned because first, she talked to me in Malay. She rarely talks Malay in class. Second, wtf? I thought it was clear to her that I was Malay. I mean we have to introduced ourselves in class. She didn't believed me when I told her I was Malay. Even asked for my name. Sheesshhh. Malu betul! Everyone laughed at me!

Anyway this year Raya sucks. As I mentioned before both my Maktok and Atuk passed away this year which means I have no grandparents. I wish that my grandparents from both side was still alive. I totally missed balik kampung even though the long distance journey sucks. I always get headaches or feel dizzy in the car unless I'm the one driving. I missed the feeling of the real Hari Raya where one day before Raya everyone has their own duty whether to cook, potong all the necessary stuff to make all the delicious food, cleaning up the house, etc. We fight, we laugh, we gossip, we cried. Funny how sometimes you didn't really missed any of this. Not until they are gone. *sigh*

Today was the first time I visit Mami's house during first day of Raya. Before this it's either I went back to Alor Star or Johor or they came to our house. I miss my grandparents. I wish they are here with us. This year I have no grandparents to mintak ampun. I never get to say goodbye for the last time with any of them.

Anyway, after we went to Mami's house, all of us went to a couple of houses to celebrate Raya with them. I have to say, Mak Ngah cooked the most delicious Laksa Penang ever! I never tasted anything like that. Pedas, pekat, masam semua cukup rasa. Nyum nyum. But I only ate a little because I was so full. Hopefully in the near future Mak Ngah masak lagi. Haihh terliur bila teringat. Hehehe..

I missed Kak Nina's crème brulée. Her crème brulée is delicious!!

I had a blast going out with my friends tonight. Lots of teasing and laughter. I love it~ :-) We went to Murni ss2 for buka puasa and Wondermilk for dessert.

This semester I'm taking :

- Business Communication 2
- Language and Ideology
- Language and Power
- Language and Media
- Creative Writing
- Cultural Diversity and English

Just looking at the subject makes me want to puke. All tough subject. I don't want my pointer to go down. I hope I can do it. I know I can :)

. . .the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference.

I have been reading this fiction that I love so much. I’m practically addicted to it. The one I’m currently addicted is about the guy cheated on his girlfriend. Then he got the homewrecker bitch pregnant. How heartbreaking for the girlfriend. Later they broke up although not officially and dated someone else. The guy was sweet and caring. But then turned out to be a fake. He only got with her to get revenge with ex-gf and the guy who stole his ex-gf. The guy used to date the girl he is with now. Poor girl got her heart broken twice. All because of the same girl who is a bitch, homewrecker, slut, spiteful and just plain evil! What is so special about this girl anyway that got both men crazy about her? Maybe it’s because of her sluttiness and expert at seducing people.

The latest update on the story is about closure and forgiveness. Some are confused by the terms closure and forgiveness. Just because the parties of this situation seek closure, it does not mean that reconciliation will occur. Closure just provides the opportunity to clear the air, a learning experience, at best. Forgiveness also does not guarantee reconciliation. Sometimes it hurts too much to be with them again. You will always wonder if that person will cheat on you again or not. Or compare you to the other person.

The baby is the only innocent party in this situation. At best he has a mother that is a soulless home-wrecker.

Okay, I’m getting way ahead of this. Going to shut up now.

I can’t stop laughing at Mama. She was pissed off because Farhan didn’t want her. She was taking care of him while our maid do her chores but then he cried. No matter what my Mom did he wouldn’t stop crying. I tried to take over but she insisted on holding him. Later she gave up and passed it to me. Immediately he stopped crying. So you can imagine how my Mom felt. Hehehehe. Sorry Mama~ Jangang marah yer. It’s not my fault he preferred me. I took care of him most of the time when the maid was busy doing her work.